October 27th

Cockneys vs Zombies (2012) directed by Matthias Hoene

Surprisingly good, despite the horrible title.  I kind of thought of it as the movie that let us know what was happening on the another side of London while Shaun was having his adventures elsewhere.  It has the a bit of the same humor, except for a hundred times more jokes about Cockneys.  Which is sometimes a problem.  I'm sure there were a slew of jokes that flew over my head because I'm not English and don't know the first thing about the subcultures of London.

While not a mind-blowing zombie movie -- zombies arrive, people run and shoot at them, some die, the end -- this film had a bunch of great little ideas in it I haven't seen in any zombie movie before.  A zombie bites a guy, he blows its head off with a gun, but a part of the zombie's face remains biting into his arm.  He then has to carry this partial zombie face around for a few scenes.  That same guy has a metal plate in his skull from the war.  Guess what happens when his companions try to shoot him after he turns?

The best idea: old people vs. zombies.  The main characters' grandfather lives at an old folks home and rallies his fellow seniors to defend the place against the undead.  Awesome.  We get a machine gun taped to a walker, an old lady throwing a box of cereal at a zombie, an old man in a wheelchair killing a zombie in a wheelchair, the inability to flee due to too many hip replacements, and the best chase scene of any zombie movie ever when a slow pack of zombies pursue a slow old man with a walker.  In fact, they really should just rename the movie, if they bring it over here, to Seniors vs Zombies.  That'll get butts in seats.

Watched: bootleg.

The Company of Wolves (1984) directed by Neil Jordan

I love the movie more every time I see it.  I was describing it as the horror Labyrinth, but it's really much better than that.  Both are mainly about that confusing transition between girl- and womanhood.  Wolves, however, is filled with far more symbolism and has much more to say.  It's also not an easy movie to follow (particularly if you've just watched some silliness about old people killing zombies).

What I noticed this time out was the storytelling aspect of the film.  Or that, the movie is about our need for storytelling as it is anything else.  Stories helps us make sense of the world.  They don't even necessarily need to be true stories to be the "God's honest truth."  Granny's stories, in the best tradition of our old fairy tales, are thinly disguised morality plays intended to plant seeds in Rosaleen's mind that will grow as she does.  Puberty will soon have Rosaleen discover the "wolves with hair on the inside" and Granny's stories, she hopes, will protect the child.  And, because the stories are also entertaining, they're easy to remember and retell.  Most of Granny's stories in the film are actually told by Rosaleen.  Not only will this ensure she can pass these same lessons on to her own children, the repetition makes the lessons more immediate in her mind as well.    Now, whether she actually follows what the stories teach, that's an entirely different thing...

The other thing I noticed is that the entire movie is a fairy tale and its moral is this: don't wish to grow up so fast, kids.  Once you grow up and lose that innocence, you'll discover the terrible truth: being an adult is hard, confusing, and its only relief is inevitable death.

Watched: blu-ray from ITV.

A Cat in the Brain (1990) directed by Lucio Fulci

I've always wanted to see this because of the nuts trailer (below) and because Fulci plays himself in it.  In it, Fulci begins to see visions of the gore from his movies in everyday life.  As in, when he goes to a restaurant, the meat offered him only makes him think of the cannibal scene he just shot.  His visions get so bad, he seemingly can't take three steps in his own home without going into a trance and imagining a five minute gore scene (in reality, ripped off from other movies).  It's like horror epilepsy and a cheap way to pad the film.   So, he goes to a psychiatrist.  Unlucky for him, the shrink is not a nice guy and uses Fulci's problem to make Fulci think he is responsible for the shrink's murders.

It's not a great movie.  Still, I got a kick out of Fulci's starring role turn.  His acting is bizarre and low-key and kind of fun to watch.

Watched: bootleg.

SWH07: Week 1 (first)

Six Weeks of Halloween 2007
Week 1 (first)

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (trailer)
Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing (trailer)
SNL: "Consumer Probe: Unsafe Halloween Costumes"


The Monster Squad (1987)
Best remembered as teaching us all a valuable lesson on werewolf anatomy, this is also a damned fun kid adventure. (8/10)

d. Fred Dekker

[Why don't they make movies like this anymore? The closest modern kid films I can think of are the Spy Kids movies. Those lack the cusp-of-puberty edge that films like The Monster Squad, The Goonies and Explorers have, however. There doesn't seem to be anyone making movies with realistic kids going on fantastic adventures anymore. Or I'm just too old to notice?]


Trick 'r Treat (trailer)
Two Thousand Maniacs! (trailer)
The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror V: The Shinning"


Masters of Horror: "The Fair-Haired Child" (2005)
A classically-constructed horror tale containing Crowley-esque demonology, excellent photography and a touch of extreme gore, among other pleasures. (9/10)

d. William Malone


Frailty (trailer)
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (trailer)
Merrie Melodies: "Pigs is Pigs"


Near Dark (1987)
Still my favorite vampire movie of all time; I'm a complete sucker for a horror-romance movie. (9/10)

d. Kathryn Bigelow


The Company of Wolves (1984)
A big stew of sexually-charged symbolism masquerading as a werewolf take on "Little Red Riding Hood" that my brain will be chewing on for a while. (8/10)

d. Neil Jordan


Capping off a weekend of old-schooling hanging out -- probably the last before my baby is born -- Chef Gregory and I enjoyed the above. It had been twenty years since my dad popped in a tape of The Monster Squad for us to watch during a sleepover. I remember the ten-year-old Chef being nervous at the time as the loud, introductory flashback played. "I don't usually watch movies like this," he explained. I was sure to bring this up two decades later. "You all right? Not too scary, is it?" I ribbed. He replied with a curse. We both were surprised at how well the movie held up. It has all of the elements necessary for a cool kid movie: a secret club, an absolutely bad-ass tree house, BMX bike transportation, a vague interest in the opposite sex, an adventure only the kids -- definitely not the adults -- can go on. Good stuff.

Grolschenstein Approves