October 17th

The Invasion (2007) directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel & James McTeigue

I wish I knew what the original ending was. WB didn't like Hirschbiegel's film and brought in the Wackowskis and their pal McTeigue to change things around and spice things up with more action sequences. I'm guessing this is why the supposedly non-violent infected throw a Molotov cocktail at Carol's car shortly after zombie-hording it with their bodies.

Until the too-quick happy ending, I was thinking this was an awful anti-vaxxer movie. There are no pods in this pod people movie. Instead, the alien is a space virus that rewrites DNA. The infected like to spread it by tricking people into drinking liquids they have projectile vomited into. So, of course, their big plan is to puke into the city's water supply and spread the virus incredibly easily that way.

What's that? That's not remotely what they do in the film? Hmm. Instead, they tell everyone there's a nasty flu and convince people to get vaccinated with their fake vaccine. Once infected, what do these people act like? Why, they're socially awkward, have trouble expressing emotions, and have a penchant for organizing their Halloween instead of eating it. Yep, sounds like autism.

Strangely, a vaccine ends up saving the day in the new ending. I'm wondering if what we're seeing is the result of a battle between original writer and possible anti-vaxxer loon David Kajganich, and the more sensible Wachowskis? Perhaps someone will write a deathbed book some day and explain.

Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again (1982) directed by Jerry Belson

When this Jekyll changes into Hyde, a rug of hair bursts out of his chest, gold jewelry appears on his fingers and neck, and one pinky fingernail grows to coke spoon length. That's about all you need to know about this one to understand the tone they're going for. I thought it was hilarious, in that late '70s / early '80s goofball comedy way. Together Again sits comfortably next to the likes of Airplane and The Naked Gun, with just a bit more "adult" (read: sex and drugs) humor in it than those classics.

Whatever you think of the movie, no one could argue that Mark Blankfield doesn't give his 110% in the titular roles. In sort of a nutty professor role, he's awkward and obsessed as Jekyll, and completely off the leash as Hyde. His Hyde is the ultimate parody of a player, seemingly unable to walk without a boogie in his step and unable to talk without some jive in his speech. Hyde's the ultimate ladies man and Jekyll finds himself waking up in ridiculously trashed hotel rooms that nearly put the one in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas to shame.

I dunno. I had fun watching it.

September 23rd

Horror High (1974) directed by Larry N. Stouffer

I'm probably missing it, but I can't think of any other horror movie that took the Jekyll & Hyde idea into high school. It's a great idea: have the picked-on science nerd create a potion in chemistry class that transforms him into a jock-slaying monster. The more his Hyde side comes out, the more confident the nerd gets and the more he loses control when angered. His downfall comes right before he's about to get the girl. These things tend to write themselves.

Strangely, the killer nerd in Horror High has it mostly in for the staff, rather than his fellow students, which makes me think that writer J.D. "Dark Night of the Scarecrow" Feigelson had a different experience in school than most nerds did. Also making an appearance in the script is the stock character "detective who immediately guesses the correct killer, but does nothing except repeatedly interview the suspect while letting him roam free to kill." Played by Assault on Precinct 13's Austin Stoker, Lt. Bozemen is even in the same building as the killer nerd while he's killing and still fails to stop or catch him. It's kind of a painful waste of the badass Stoker, especially when the film's tagline is "The Man Who Survived 'Precinct 13' Is Back!" and there's nary a shotgun to be found until the final scene.

Apparently, Crown cut the film down to a PG rating for its theatrical real, but even in its uncut form on DVD it's fairly tame. There's a bit of blood and a single gruesome scene involving fingertips, but nothing is lingered on. I kept thinking about how this film was released right between The Exorcist and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: two massive horror films that changed the genre permanently with this innocent little film squeezed between. Smart, actually, of Crown, I'd say. Kids unable to get into the popular "real" horror movies due to parents or theater owners could buy a ticket for this instead. Kids need their own horror, too.