Tales from the Crypt: "Death of Some Salesmen" (1993) directed by Gilbert Adler
Did you ever want to see Ed Begley Jr. have sex with Tim Curry? Me neither, but it was amusing anyway. Curry plays three roles in this episode: an entire redneck family who hate salesmen. That, by itself, is enough for a good time. Throw in a cameo by Lily Munster and a classic "scumbag gets what's coming to him" EC comics plot to make a for fun season five opener. (7/10)
C.H.U.D. (1984) directed by Douglas Cheek
Somehow, this is one '80s horror flick I'd never seen before. I really wasn't missing much. For being about underground cannibals (who are also humanoid dwellers), the critters don't do any on-screen eating that I remember. They actually don't do much of anything for the majority of the movie. Most of the film follows a preacher, a police captain and a photographer as they slowly unravel the mystery of the disappearing underground homeless people. It's kinda slow, but not the good kind of horror movie slow where the tension is built. I did dig the gritty NYC setting, though. (6/10)
Ah Thor, I love you, buddy, but this wasn't the sequel I was hoping for. The movie is jam-packed with bad acting, crappy special F/X, non-existent sound F/X, inept editing, lame ideas... but we expect that based on the original movie. No, those aren't really the problem with this flick. It's more fundamental than those things. The main fault of the film is that Thor just doesn't kick enough ass.
That's all I really wanted from this movie. I wanted the end of the first movie, in which Thor turns into the Intercessor and beats the shit out of a rubber puppet of the devil while a kickin' Thor song plays in the background, repeated a bunch of times in this movie. That's all. Instead, they focus on some greasy-haired weenie for the first half of the movie. When Thor finally starts to carry the film, they give him a lame "mace" -- which appears to be a child's karaoke microphone -- which he uses to zap CGI lightening at the bad guys. Yep, instead of having the body-builder hero punch the bad guys, they have him point a plastic toy at them and the computer F/X team draws in some lightening. Weak. He does get into one real fight... but it's with the branches of a weeping willow tree. C'mon Thor -- you got better in you than this. (4/10)
Everybody's gotta do the Universal classics for at least one Halloween. Thinking I'm definitely going to pop one of them in this year at some point. Probably Bride.
[comment copied from old blog]
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was dissapointed in "CHUD" when I first saw it as well. It sure doesn't live up to its title.
And my own Halloween marathon begins tonight with the tradional yearly viewing of the classic Universal monster movies.
Sunday, October 04, 2009, 22:39:42
[comment copied from old blog]
ReplyDeleteEverybody's gotta do the Universal classics for at least one Halloween. Thinking I'm definitely going to pop one of them in this year at some point. Probably Bride.
Monday, October 05, 2009, 16:14:44