23 September 2013

September 23rd

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988) directed by Donald G. Jackson & R.J. Kizer
Okay, not really a horror movie, but I figured a post-apocalypse populated with mutant frog people might be close enough.  Plus, I've been wanting to check this one out after meeting (the incredibly cool in person) Roddy Piper at Days of the Dead a couple of months ago.

What can you say?  It's 100% pure American cheez.  Piper is Sam Hell, a fertile man -- rare after the nuclear war -- drafted by the army to venture into mutant frog people land to rescue and impregnate fertile human females.  He wears metal army-issued chastity panties that can either zap or blow up his junk, which are controlled by the earrings of his female army commander.  Along the way, he's propositioned by a frog lady, has his panties cut off by a chainsaw, and ends up in a truck full of seven horny women at the end.  Pretty much a modern SyFy Channel movie meets an old school Skinamax flick.  You've gotta be in a pretty damned silly mood to enjoy this one.

Watched: bootleg.

American Horror Story 1.01: "Pilot" (2011) directed by Ryan Murphy
Luckily, I didn't read anything about this show before jumping in.  Had I known it was created by the same guys who made the ear-bleedingly bad Glee, I probably would've skipped it.  That would've been a shame, as I found this pilot episode thoroughly entertaining.

It appears to be The Shining: The Series, with the Overlook swapped out for an old mansion in L.A.  Frankly, it might be a little too close to The Shining, with ghost twins, ugly ghost ladies who appear attractive and try to seduce the male lead, a male lead slowly been made crazy by the evil of the building, a previous resident who went mad and killed his family in the house, and the main couple having domestic troubles which lead them to seek solace in a new location.

And, I fear, there might be a little too much going on in this episode.  Teenage cutting, gimp suit sex, flashes of horrible ghosts, a massively burned man, a creepy Down syndrome girl telling people they're going to die, disturbing paintings on the walls, a wacky neighbor, more than one instance of masturbation... everything except the horror kitchen sink seems to be shoved into this episode.  I don't know how they're going to keep up this kind of pace for the next 11 episodes.

That said, it all comes together into something I couldn't take my eyes off of.  We see just enough of a glimpse of the ghosts to make they scary.  There are just the right amount of jump cuts and canted angles to make certain scenes unnerving.  The living characters are complicated and flawed and interesting.  I dug this episode quite a bit.


  1. Hell Comes to Frogtown is just one of those delightfully odd action flicks that never could have been made today. Honestly, how did a movie like that get made in 1988?

  2. Yeah, I do like that AHS pilot...

    Prepare for the show to get a whole lot worse.