Tales from the Crypt 6.02: "Only Skin Deep" (1994) directed by William Malone
Distracted by Star Wars: The Card Game for too long, Casey and I only had time for one little episode after the pizza arrived. But, it was a good one. It starts at a seasonally appropriate Halloween party, in which an abusive jerk meets a mysterious woman wearing a bizarre mask. She takes him back to her apartment for sex, but grows very cold afterwards. The abusive jerk get angry, but runs into a fairly typical Crypt ending. What makes the episode better than average, though, was the way it was shot. More than your average amount of thought (for a TV series) went into shot placement and lighting, making the thing exciting to watch for that alone. It felt very cinematic.
18 October 2013
17 October 2013
October 17th
The Walking Dead 3.09: "The Suicide King" (2013) directed by Lesli Linka Glatter
How's the cliffhanger from the mid-season finale resolved? Pretty easily. Rick and company shoot a few bullets, throw a few smoke grenades, and waltz easily out of Woodbury with Daryl and Merle. Woodbury is not remotely a threat. This is further emphasized in the episode when most of the population is clamoring to leave and freaking out over the Governor plugging a bitten zombie victim. There is absolutely no tension in the idea that these folks may gather and attack the group at the prison. They're all wimps, so who cares?
Andrea's speech to convince the population of Woodbury to stay was some of the laziest writing I've ever seen in this show. Unbelievably cheezy stuff. Rick going nuts at the end because he thinks he sees Laurie: a wee over the top, but amusing, at least. I would've preferred to see that type of thing, maybe, after dealing with an attack from Woodbury. Having just returned from a success rescue mission, it doesn't seem like the guy should've been quite that stressed out.
How's the cliffhanger from the mid-season finale resolved? Pretty easily. Rick and company shoot a few bullets, throw a few smoke grenades, and waltz easily out of Woodbury with Daryl and Merle. Woodbury is not remotely a threat. This is further emphasized in the episode when most of the population is clamoring to leave and freaking out over the Governor plugging a bitten zombie victim. There is absolutely no tension in the idea that these folks may gather and attack the group at the prison. They're all wimps, so who cares?
Andrea's speech to convince the population of Woodbury to stay was some of the laziest writing I've ever seen in this show. Unbelievably cheezy stuff. Rick going nuts at the end because he thinks he sees Laurie: a wee over the top, but amusing, at least. I would've preferred to see that type of thing, maybe, after dealing with an attack from Woodbury. Having just returned from a success rescue mission, it doesn't seem like the guy should've been quite that stressed out.
16 October 2013
October 16th
In the Mouth of Madness (1994) directed by John Carpenter
Some say this is Carpenter's last good film. Me, I like Vampires, but this is the last film of his to have that "Carpenter feel." No one else quite does it like John: his movies are filled with a deep sense of dread and there is never much chance that the heroes can defeat the enormous evil they face. In this one, the enormous evil is about as big as they get and arrive in the form of Lovecraft's Old Ones.
I've always liked the idea that reality is a shared consensus (at least as a fictional conceit. In real life, I'm aligned with Philip K. Dick: "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."). My favorite take on this idea is in Sandman #18, "A Dream of a Thousand Cats." In that story, we learn that cats used to be bigger than humans and hunted us for sport. The humans gathered together and decided to simultaneously dream a new reality, in which they were the rulers of the world instead. It worked. Now a lone cat walks the Earth, trying to convince other cats to join his dream of bringing world back to the way it used to be. Of course, this will never work, cats being cats.
It's not tools or language that separate us from animals; it's stories. We alone are able to solidify our dreams and share them with each other. And, the scale on which we're able to do this in the modern age is staggering. The film touches on this quite a bit, opening with The Hobb's End Horror being mass-printed on an enormous maze of machinery and having Linda mention that Sutter Kane's novels are a billion dollar, global business. Kane's stories occupy and become real in millions of minds. This is powerful, even without considering its ability to warp the world.
You could also easily tie this back to Carpenter's prior film in his "apocalypse trilogy," Prince of Darkness. In that one, the Catholic Church creates a false story ("Christianity") in order to protect humanity from the true horror of the universe. Sutter Kane does the opposite. Stories used as weapons of war, both protecting and damn us. That's humanity's special power. The cats don't know what they're missing.
Watched: blu-ray from WB
.
I've always liked the idea that reality is a shared consensus (at least as a fictional conceit. In real life, I'm aligned with Philip K. Dick: "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."). My favorite take on this idea is in Sandman #18, "A Dream of a Thousand Cats." In that story, we learn that cats used to be bigger than humans and hunted us for sport. The humans gathered together and decided to simultaneously dream a new reality, in which they were the rulers of the world instead. It worked. Now a lone cat walks the Earth, trying to convince other cats to join his dream of bringing world back to the way it used to be. Of course, this will never work, cats being cats.
It's not tools or language that separate us from animals; it's stories. We alone are able to solidify our dreams and share them with each other. And, the scale on which we're able to do this in the modern age is staggering. The film touches on this quite a bit, opening with The Hobb's End Horror being mass-printed on an enormous maze of machinery and having Linda mention that Sutter Kane's novels are a billion dollar, global business. Kane's stories occupy and become real in millions of minds. This is powerful, even without considering its ability to warp the world.
You could also easily tie this back to Carpenter's prior film in his "apocalypse trilogy," Prince of Darkness. In that one, the Catholic Church creates a false story ("Christianity") in order to protect humanity from the true horror of the universe. Sutter Kane does the opposite. Stories used as weapons of war, both protecting and damn us. That's humanity's special power. The cats don't know what they're missing.
Watched: blu-ray from WB
.15 October 2013
October 15th
 |
| Monster Cereal Week 4: Frute Brute. I wonder if Tarantino will still throw his vintage box in films now that it's back? Or, is he a cereal hipster? Time will tell. |
Eaten Alive! (1980) directed by Umberto Lenzi
The movie's biggest problem is that it steals far too much from Man from Deep River. It re-uses a lot of footage from that earlier movie -- including a lot of the real animal cruelty -- in badly editing sequences in which this movie's characters pretend to look at scenes from that other film. It also rips off ideas from Man, including having a widow being raped over the ashes of her husband. Combined with Kerman from Holocaust and Me Me Lai from just about every cannibal movie ever made, the whole thing feels like a crappy remix of a song you like.
Watched: DVD from Shriek Show
.The Real Ghostbusters 2.01: "Knock, Knock" (1987) directed by Marek Buchwald & Masakazu Higuchi
Ah, this is why I liked the show as a kid. The deceptively dark nature of the show combined with the excitement of the Ghostbusters saving the day really captured my imagination in the '80s. This episode has NYC subway workers accidentally opening a demonic door underground (even after the door itself warns them: "Do not open 'til doomsday"). Even though it's never explicitly stated in the show, this is a door to Hell, which is leaking "ghosts" / demons and slowly taking over the world. It's up to the Ghostbusters to descend into Hell itself to save the day at the last moment. Exciting!
14 October 2013
October 14th
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) directed by Ruggero Deodato
Despite Cannibal Holocaust's enormous infamy, I think Deodato's earlier Last Cannibal World is the better film. World felt rawer and more real. Holocaust feels manufactured. It might be due to their stories. World is about a man captured by savages and fighting to escape. It's intimate and simple. We identify with his suffering and cheer when he escapes. Holocaust clunkily tells two tales, one of an anthropologist searching for a lost documentary team, then another using the footage that lost team shot.
The first never feels particularly dangerous. The anthropologist and his team never feel out of control among the natives in the jungle. Its purpose seems to be to give us a tour of the aftermath of the documentary team's adventures in the jungle and raise a little mystery over the circumstances of their deaths. It's goes on too long for what it is -- it's 45 minutes before the team returns to New York with the film -- and could've been chopped down a bit.
The second is filled with a strange amount of finger-wagging at the audience. When the film is screened, we quickly learn that the young documentarians are a group of sociopaths, who think nothing of burning natives alive in order to create a story for their documentary. After each scene of extreme violence -- either committed by or against the filmmakers -- the film cuts back to the anthropologist in the screening room with a sad look on his face. "Hey, you in the audience, you're sick for watching this," Deodato seems to be saying. Hey, I ain't the one who made it...
Suffice it to say, Cannibal Holocaust did not live up to its large reputation.
Watched: DVD from Grindhouse Releasing
.
American Horror Story 2.03: "Asylum: Nor'easter" (2012) directed by Michael Uppendahl
So far, I'm liking the all-over-the-place goofiness of the show. This episode features Sister Jude getting drunk, a possessed nun running around causing mischief, a short glimpse of a huge alien, a better glimpse of the monsters the doctor keeps feeding, and unnecessary amputation. I feel like the showrunners discovered that they were incapable of making a serious horror show -- like the early episodes of season 1 were -- and are playing to their strengths now. Still, something like this will easily fall apart into disappointment once they begin explaining things.
The first never feels particularly dangerous. The anthropologist and his team never feel out of control among the natives in the jungle. Its purpose seems to be to give us a tour of the aftermath of the documentary team's adventures in the jungle and raise a little mystery over the circumstances of their deaths. It's goes on too long for what it is -- it's 45 minutes before the team returns to New York with the film -- and could've been chopped down a bit.
The second is filled with a strange amount of finger-wagging at the audience. When the film is screened, we quickly learn that the young documentarians are a group of sociopaths, who think nothing of burning natives alive in order to create a story for their documentary. After each scene of extreme violence -- either committed by or against the filmmakers -- the film cuts back to the anthropologist in the screening room with a sad look on his face. "Hey, you in the audience, you're sick for watching this," Deodato seems to be saying. Hey, I ain't the one who made it...
Suffice it to say, Cannibal Holocaust did not live up to its large reputation.
Watched: DVD from Grindhouse Releasing
.American Horror Story 2.03: "Asylum: Nor'easter" (2012) directed by Michael Uppendahl
So far, I'm liking the all-over-the-place goofiness of the show. This episode features Sister Jude getting drunk, a possessed nun running around causing mischief, a short glimpse of a huge alien, a better glimpse of the monsters the doctor keeps feeding, and unnecessary amputation. I feel like the showrunners discovered that they were incapable of making a serious horror show -- like the early episodes of season 1 were -- and are playing to their strengths now. Still, something like this will easily fall apart into disappointment once they begin explaining things.
13 October 2013
October 13th
Communion (1989) directed by Philippe Mora
I just finished reading both Communion and Transformation by Whitley Strieber and had an itch to re-watch this flick. Watching the movie so soon after finishing the books that preceded it reveals how little the movie actually takes from Strieber's writing. To be fair, the writing is about 80% Strieber's philosophical musings on the nature of the phenomenon he thinks he's experiencing. He dives into everything from Celtic fairy stories to the affect of magnetic fields on humans to what might be the nature of the soul. It's completely unfilmable as it is. The solution: get Christopher Walken and have him crank up the crazy.
That works. Walken is fun as all get-out to watch in this film. He twitches and sings and one-liners his way through every scene. He deliberately looks directly at the camera on many occasions. His reactions to seeing the aliens are bizarre (when about to be anal probed: "Can we talk this over? It looks like you're going to sing White Christmas..."). What should make his performance into a joke is actually pretty effective. Here's a weird dude having really weird experiences: enjoy.
That's the one thing the movie gets very right: the weirdness. The reason I enjoy Strieber's books so much is mostly due to how odd the experiences he describes are. If this stuff were really real -- if an alien intelligence were trying to talk to the smartest primates on this ball of dirt -- it would be an extremely strange thing for these two completely different creatures to meet. The climax of the film has Walken walking into a ball of light after mysteriously leaving his New York apartment. Inside, he high-fives a blue alien while the willowy gray aliens do a weird, floating samba in the background. He then see himself dressed as a magician standing in front of a Christmas tree. The magician seems to be there just to mess with him, making fun of his prior reactions to the aliens and telling him he will never understand what's going on. It's weird as hell and I love it.
Watched: DVD from Elite
.
That works. Walken is fun as all get-out to watch in this film. He twitches and sings and one-liners his way through every scene. He deliberately looks directly at the camera on many occasions. His reactions to seeing the aliens are bizarre (when about to be anal probed: "Can we talk this over? It looks like you're going to sing White Christmas..."). What should make his performance into a joke is actually pretty effective. Here's a weird dude having really weird experiences: enjoy.
That's the one thing the movie gets very right: the weirdness. The reason I enjoy Strieber's books so much is mostly due to how odd the experiences he describes are. If this stuff were really real -- if an alien intelligence were trying to talk to the smartest primates on this ball of dirt -- it would be an extremely strange thing for these two completely different creatures to meet. The climax of the film has Walken walking into a ball of light after mysteriously leaving his New York apartment. Inside, he high-fives a blue alien while the willowy gray aliens do a weird, floating samba in the background. He then see himself dressed as a magician standing in front of a Christmas tree. The magician seems to be there just to mess with him, making fun of his prior reactions to the aliens and telling him he will never understand what's going on. It's weird as hell and I love it.
Watched: DVD from Elite
.12 October 2013
October 12th
American Horror Story 2.02: "Asylum: Tricks and Treats" (2012) directed by Bradley Buecker
Every episode is going to start with a brief glance at Bloody Face's activities in the abandoned asylum in the present day, it seems like. It'll be a like a mini-slasher movie when all done, maybe? In 1964, the story mostly centers on an Exorcist rip-off in which an old priest is brought to the asylum to help with a possessed teen-aged boy. Admittedly, this was a fun device to reveal more of Sister Jude's backstory, as the demon tries to rattle her by speaking of her past sins. As is the case with this show, her pre-nun life is way over-the-top, and we discover she used to be a super-promiscuous, drunk-driving, child-running-over wreck of a person. Also, nice to see Robin Weigert as the possessed boy's mother. I miss Jane.
Tales from the Darkside 1.17: "The Madness Room" (1985) directed by John Hayes
Once you see the knowing glance between the wife and the husband's business associate, followed by the husband taking nitroglycerin pills for his chest pain, the entire plot is easily predicted. A Tales from the Crypt-style story of getting just deserts.
Every episode is going to start with a brief glance at Bloody Face's activities in the abandoned asylum in the present day, it seems like. It'll be a like a mini-slasher movie when all done, maybe? In 1964, the story mostly centers on an Exorcist rip-off in which an old priest is brought to the asylum to help with a possessed teen-aged boy. Admittedly, this was a fun device to reveal more of Sister Jude's backstory, as the demon tries to rattle her by speaking of her past sins. As is the case with this show, her pre-nun life is way over-the-top, and we discover she used to be a super-promiscuous, drunk-driving, child-running-over wreck of a person. Also, nice to see Robin Weigert as the possessed boy's mother. I miss Jane.
Tales from the Darkside 1.17: "The Madness Room" (1985) directed by John Hayes
Once you see the knowing glance between the wife and the husband's business associate, followed by the husband taking nitroglycerin pills for his chest pain, the entire plot is easily predicted. A Tales from the Crypt-style story of getting just deserts.
11 October 2013
October 11th
Today was my pal Jack's annual Halloween shindig. Twelve folks, pizza, treats, movies & shorts, and a game made for some good times.
Zombie: Dawn of the Dead (1978) directed by George A. Romero
The greatest zombie movie ever made, re-edited by Dario Argento for Italian audiences. It's a peppier cut, getting to the action faster. There are some additional shots and lines of dialogue that are cool (a grim conversation in the helicopter should've been kept in the real version). However, I didn't really like most of the changes.
The speed of this edit takes a lot away from what I like about this movie. The pride and boredom the characters feel after claiming their new home is diminished. There's barely any breathing room between Roger's death and the arrival of the motorcycle gang. The humor is mostly removed, too, with a few pies thrown and that's about it. The soundtrack is, not surprisingly, wall-to-wall Goblin music in this edit. Some of the extra Goblin music just isn't very good and it replaces the goofy and iconic mall music, which is very disappointing. I also feel like Frannie's character was gutted in this edit. Dario seems to only use her scene when necessary and is comfortable cutting her out as much as possible.
Regardless, ain't we lucky that this exists on DVD and we can watch it? Pre-Starz Anchor Bay was awesome. RIP.
Watched: DVD from Anchor Bay
.
Afterwards, we played some Cards Against Humanity. We weren't sure how the game would work with such a large group, but it turned out fine. We split into teams of two to cut down on the number of answer cards to read each round and the laughter started immediately. It's funny watching people's faces as they tried to choose which answer card to play: you could often see the "this is horrible, but I want to win" thought process dance across their visage. I love this game.
Zombie: Dawn of the Dead (1978) directed by George A. Romero
The speed of this edit takes a lot away from what I like about this movie. The pride and boredom the characters feel after claiming their new home is diminished. There's barely any breathing room between Roger's death and the arrival of the motorcycle gang. The humor is mostly removed, too, with a few pies thrown and that's about it. The soundtrack is, not surprisingly, wall-to-wall Goblin music in this edit. Some of the extra Goblin music just isn't very good and it replaces the goofy and iconic mall music, which is very disappointing. I also feel like Frannie's character was gutted in this edit. Dario seems to only use her scene when necessary and is comfortable cutting her out as much as possible.
Regardless, ain't we lucky that this exists on DVD and we can watch it? Pre-Starz Anchor Bay was awesome. RIP.
Watched: DVD from Anchor Bay
.Afterwards, we played some Cards Against Humanity. We weren't sure how the game would work with such a large group, but it turned out fine. We split into teams of two to cut down on the number of answer cards to read each round and the laughter started immediately. It's funny watching people's faces as they tried to choose which answer card to play: you could often see the "this is horrible, but I want to win" thought process dance across their visage. I love this game.
10 October 2013
October 10th
It Came From The Local
Tonight was the Flint Horror Con's annual free pre-con short film night. Homemade cookies, popcorn and some short films to watch from exotic places like Spain and Flint, Michigan: there's no better way to spend a few hours. The line-up:
Mondo Matt's Trailers
Yeah, this is actually me. I'm honored to get to put together a short trailer and intermission compilation for both It Came from the Local and the Flint Horror Con proper. I think I dun good. There was plenty of loud laughing at some of the ridiculous stuff I picked (god, I love the Trapped trailer) and lots of "that looks awesome! I need to see that movie!" Can't ask for a better reaction than that.
Day 9 (2013) directed by Thomas Ryan
A no-budget zombie film shot in the writer/director's house, starring himself and and his wife. I thought it had some really good camerawork and a decent story idea. Its big issue was its editing. The enemy of a horror film -- other than unintentional comedy -- is boredom. A bunch of this movie could've been chopped out to make a more exciting experience. As it is, it drags badly as the film counts up towards the title.
Scarriage Town (2012) directed by Paul Counelis
A documentary from local horror super-fan and Rue Morgue contributor Paul Counelis. Every Halloween, Paul and his family make a haunted house experience in their yard for trick-r-treaters to walk through. He narrates the process of putting the elaborate setup together (gotta love the mattresses on the ground to act as a distraction when suddenly walked upon) and shows footage of the screaming kids from last Halloween enjoying it. Very cool.
The Suicide King (2012) directed by Ryan Blazic
Kind of a Tarantino-esque short about a man entering a poker game in order to earn enough money for his daughter's surgery. The twist is that anyone who loses a showdown must play Russian roulette. Not bad.
(a short film about a crazy girl and a scarecrow) directed by RT McRobertson (I think)
There was some extra time in the middle of things, so this off-schedule short was thrown into the mix. I wish I could remember the title, as it was actually my favorite of the night. Another no-budget short shot with friends and family, but very well made. It stars a girl who forgets to take her medicine one Halloween morning and begins to hear and see things. Great gore effects and use of flashbacks.
The Sweet Hand of the White Rose (2010) directed by Davide Melini
Ugh. This is pretty much an extended "Don't Text and Drive, Kids!" PSA. Imagine the ending of Jacob's Ladder, except higher in schmaltz and the aforementioned texting driver walking into the light with his innocent victim.
3 trailers for Beyond the Dark
From the little you could see in the trailers, it looks like it could be awesome:
Decapoda Shock (2011) directed by Javier Chillon
A favorite returning from last year, this is balls-out crazy fun from Spain. A spaceman turns into a crab and fights the Satanic forces of evil. Super-coolness.
The Giant Rubber Monster Movie (2011) directed by Thomas Berdinski
A favorite returning from two years ago. This is pure psychotronic fun. A boy from the year 25 million travels back in time to save humanity from a giant monster with an afro. Own this one one DVD already I love it so much.
Tonight was the Flint Horror Con's annual free pre-con short film night. Homemade cookies, popcorn and some short films to watch from exotic places like Spain and Flint, Michigan: there's no better way to spend a few hours. The line-up:
Mondo Matt's Trailers
Yeah, this is actually me. I'm honored to get to put together a short trailer and intermission compilation for both It Came from the Local and the Flint Horror Con proper. I think I dun good. There was plenty of loud laughing at some of the ridiculous stuff I picked (god, I love the Trapped trailer) and lots of "that looks awesome! I need to see that movie!" Can't ask for a better reaction than that.
Day 9 (2013) directed by Thomas Ryan
A no-budget zombie film shot in the writer/director's house, starring himself and and his wife. I thought it had some really good camerawork and a decent story idea. Its big issue was its editing. The enemy of a horror film -- other than unintentional comedy -- is boredom. A bunch of this movie could've been chopped out to make a more exciting experience. As it is, it drags badly as the film counts up towards the title.
Scarriage Town (2012) directed by Paul Counelis
A documentary from local horror super-fan and Rue Morgue contributor Paul Counelis. Every Halloween, Paul and his family make a haunted house experience in their yard for trick-r-treaters to walk through. He narrates the process of putting the elaborate setup together (gotta love the mattresses on the ground to act as a distraction when suddenly walked upon) and shows footage of the screaming kids from last Halloween enjoying it. Very cool.
The Suicide King (2012) directed by Ryan Blazic
Kind of a Tarantino-esque short about a man entering a poker game in order to earn enough money for his daughter's surgery. The twist is that anyone who loses a showdown must play Russian roulette. Not bad.
(a short film about a crazy girl and a scarecrow) directed by RT McRobertson (I think)
There was some extra time in the middle of things, so this off-schedule short was thrown into the mix. I wish I could remember the title, as it was actually my favorite of the night. Another no-budget short shot with friends and family, but very well made. It stars a girl who forgets to take her medicine one Halloween morning and begins to hear and see things. Great gore effects and use of flashbacks.
The Sweet Hand of the White Rose (2010) directed by Davide Melini
Ugh. This is pretty much an extended "Don't Text and Drive, Kids!" PSA. Imagine the ending of Jacob's Ladder, except higher in schmaltz and the aforementioned texting driver walking into the light with his innocent victim.
3 trailers for Beyond the Dark
From the little you could see in the trailers, it looks like it could be awesome:
Decapoda Shock (2011) directed by Javier Chillon
A favorite returning from last year, this is balls-out crazy fun from Spain. A spaceman turns into a crab and fights the Satanic forces of evil. Super-coolness.
The Giant Rubber Monster Movie (2011) directed by Thomas Berdinski
A favorite returning from two years ago. This is pure psychotronic fun. A boy from the year 25 million travels back in time to save humanity from a giant monster with an afro. Own this one one DVD already I love it so much.
09 October 2013
October 9th
Twixt (2011) directed by Francis Ford Coppola
There seems to be two reactions to this film out there in Internetland: "this is amazing and I loved it" and "Coppola has lost his damned mind!" I can understand both. The film is hard to follow, a tad slow at times, and ends abruptly. It ain't for everyone. It's also beautiful, hallucinatory, funny, and strange. I dug it quite a bit.
I can't say that I've kept up with Coppola's work over the years, so I'm not sure what Tetro and Youth Without Youth were all about. With Twixt, I'm seeing an aging artist playing with new ways of being creative, perhaps trying to re-capture that creative spark artists have in youth. While the vampires and witches and murder mysteries and goofy small town characters are fun, I think this film is an exploration of the creative process and Coppola's current struggles with it.
At least, that's what I see the protagonist, Hall Baltimore, struggling with during his stay in the small town. There for a book signing tour, his one and only fan in town happens to be the sheriff. The sheriff excitedly mentions there's been a recent murder and that he has an idea for a novel based on it he wants to share. Initially uninterested, Hall finds himself in a lucid dream involving the murdered girl and an abandoned hotel. Upon awakening, he realizes the goofy sheriff is correct: there is a good story there. More importantly to Hall, it's a potential break from writing the dull series of semi-successful novels about witches he's been contracted to create.
From herein, he researches the facts of the case while awake and weaves the story in his mind while asleep (or knocked out). While dreaming, he is lead through his own unconscious by Edgar Allan Poe. His Virgil, Poe guides Hall through the layers of his unconscious, unearthing the personal reason why this girl's death has affected him so much and how these emotions can be used in powerful storytelling. It about the coolest illustration of the eternal question "where do your ideas come from?" that I've ever seen.
In the end, Hall has only succeeded in switching from witches to vampires for his new novel. But, it's something new, he's faced his guilt over his daughter's accidental death, and he has discovered a new way to access that well of ideas lurking deep in our brains. For anyone who's ever suffered writer's block, this is about as happy and ending as you can get for this sort of story.
Watched: blu-ray from Fox
.
I can't say that I've kept up with Coppola's work over the years, so I'm not sure what Tetro and Youth Without Youth were all about. With Twixt, I'm seeing an aging artist playing with new ways of being creative, perhaps trying to re-capture that creative spark artists have in youth. While the vampires and witches and murder mysteries and goofy small town characters are fun, I think this film is an exploration of the creative process and Coppola's current struggles with it.
At least, that's what I see the protagonist, Hall Baltimore, struggling with during his stay in the small town. There for a book signing tour, his one and only fan in town happens to be the sheriff. The sheriff excitedly mentions there's been a recent murder and that he has an idea for a novel based on it he wants to share. Initially uninterested, Hall finds himself in a lucid dream involving the murdered girl and an abandoned hotel. Upon awakening, he realizes the goofy sheriff is correct: there is a good story there. More importantly to Hall, it's a potential break from writing the dull series of semi-successful novels about witches he's been contracted to create.
From herein, he researches the facts of the case while awake and weaves the story in his mind while asleep (or knocked out). While dreaming, he is lead through his own unconscious by Edgar Allan Poe. His Virgil, Poe guides Hall through the layers of his unconscious, unearthing the personal reason why this girl's death has affected him so much and how these emotions can be used in powerful storytelling. It about the coolest illustration of the eternal question "where do your ideas come from?" that I've ever seen.
In the end, Hall has only succeeded in switching from witches to vampires for his new novel. But, it's something new, he's faced his guilt over his daughter's accidental death, and he has discovered a new way to access that well of ideas lurking deep in our brains. For anyone who's ever suffered writer's block, this is about as happy and ending as you can get for this sort of story.
Watched: blu-ray from Fox
.08 October 2013
October 8th
Last Cannibal World (1977) directed by Ruggero Deodato
AKA Jungle Holocaust, this was originally intended as a sequel to Man from Deep River but bears little similarity that prior film. This is a true horror picture. I was thrilled throughout the entire film. It's a simple story of a man captured by "stone age" cannibals in the Malaysian jungle who has to escape and find his airplane before they either eat him or use him as crocodile bait.
I was blown away by the sequence where the cannibals capture Robert. Wow -- sometimes you need to be reminded about how badass '70s cinema could be. Robert awakens in cave, surrounded by screaming cannibals and tied to a large boulder. They begin poking and prodding him as he struggles against the ropes. Soon, they begin tearing his clothes off and poking and prodding him in even more sensitive areas. The imagery is intense: a nude made bound to a rock, surround by howling savages. It's hard to imagine a worse position to find yourself in.
I also can't say I've ever seen a horror movie in which the male lead spends more than half the film completely naked. Amazing work from Massimo Foschi, who gamely runs around a jungle completely nude just to make a movie. The bug bites that poor guy must have suffered...
If I have a complaint, it's that Robert only battled a cannibal in combat once. For all of the chasing around the jungle they did with him, he was only truly in trouble during that one time after his escape. And, even there, he had the massive advantage of the venom-tipped spear. A minor quibble, though, and barely worth bringing up.
Watched: DVD from Shriek Show
.
I was blown away by the sequence where the cannibals capture Robert. Wow -- sometimes you need to be reminded about how badass '70s cinema could be. Robert awakens in cave, surrounded by screaming cannibals and tied to a large boulder. They begin poking and prodding him as he struggles against the ropes. Soon, they begin tearing his clothes off and poking and prodding him in even more sensitive areas. The imagery is intense: a nude made bound to a rock, surround by howling savages. It's hard to imagine a worse position to find yourself in.
I also can't say I've ever seen a horror movie in which the male lead spends more than half the film completely naked. Amazing work from Massimo Foschi, who gamely runs around a jungle completely nude just to make a movie. The bug bites that poor guy must have suffered...
If I have a complaint, it's that Robert only battled a cannibal in combat once. For all of the chasing around the jungle they did with him, he was only truly in trouble during that one time after his escape. And, even there, he had the massive advantage of the venom-tipped spear. A minor quibble, though, and barely worth bringing up.
Watched: DVD from Shriek Show
.
The Walking Dead 3.08: "Made to Suffer" (2012) directed by Bill Gierhart
This episode is intense in spots, but suffers from pacing problems most of the rest of the time. Which is probably the issue with the entire series, come to think of it. Rick's group's attack on Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie is exciting and fun to watch, but it's continually broken up by cutting to the Governor and his bizarre preoccupation with preventing Andrea from finding out who the attackers are. Why does he even care? Plus, the confrontation between the Governor and Michonne -- which had absolutely no build-up -- was incredibly disappointing. No fork or amputation, huh?
The mid-season cliffhanger of having the Dixon brothers surrounded by the Woodbury folks was rather tame. Even if I wasn't already spoiled, I can't say I would've been concerned that the show's most popular character was in trouble.
American Horror Story 2.01: "Asylum: Welcome to Briarcliff" (2012) directed by Bradley Buecker
Like the first episode of the first season, this opener throws a whole helluva lot at the viewer. Again, like that other episode, it was all pretty exciting. There's an abandoned asylum -- the best horror setting possible -- a mad scientist, a takes-absolutely-no-shit nun with secret desires for her priest, a lesbian investigative journalist, wacky characters populating the asylum, an arm ripped off, and... aliens? What the hell? I was not expecting the abduction angle. I was willing to brush it off as a cover memory in Kit's broken mind, but the scientist guy removes an implant from Kit's neck and watches it crawl away like a spider. I know they dropped the ball pretty badly by the end of season one, but I'm already forgetting that in favor of wondering how the hell all of this stuff will come together.
07 October 2013
October 7th
Man from Deep River (1972) directed by Umberto Lenzi
This Halloween, I decided I'd catch up on the most famous of the Italian cannibal movies. I've never seen any of these things, though I'm certainly aware of the lore of Cannibal Holocaust. To be honest, this particular horror subgenre doesn't really interest me all that much, but, hey, there's a hole in my horror education and I really should fill it.
Man from Deep River is always mentioned as the start of this subgenre, but it is not a cannibal movie. It's not even a horror movie. It tells the tell of a white guy who gets lost in the jungles of Thailand and is captured by a local tribe. Eventually, he finds love and purpose there.
This film is more of an outgrowth of the mondo film subgenre. It delights in showing us the shocking aspects of tribal life, most of which involve abusing animals. Jesus, I've never seen a work of fiction with so much real animal torture in it. We're forced to watch crocodiles and snakes chopped up alive, a mongoose forced to fight a cobra, a presumably real monkey getting its skull chopped off, cockfights, and a goat getting its throat gruesomely slit. I'm no member of PETA and I've got no problem with hunting, but this nothing I want to see to create a fictional story.
There is one small cannibal scene in the film, which presumably was the seed that inspired the rest of the Italian cannibal film explosion. A small group from the neighboring tribe discover a couple in the woods. They kill the man, then proceed to rape and eat the woman. It's disturbing, but it's really only a small section of a film that is mostly about the protagonist mooning over his native wife. It must have been enough, though, to stick in peoples' minds so that they wanted more.
Watched: DVD from Shriek Show
.
The Walking Dead 3.07: "When the Dead Come Knocking" (2012) directed by Daniel Sackheim
Mostly setup for the mid-season finale that's coming next. Merle and the Governor torture, sort of, Glenn and Maggie to get them to reveal where Rick and company are hiding. It's TV show torture and nothing compared to what the comic character would've done in the same situation (how cute and meta that the Governor threatens to cut off Glenn's hand!). I suppose they wouldn't want to alienate the audience, though, what with the highest ratings of any cable show and all.
Later, Rick brings most of the group to the edge of Woodbury on a rescue mission while, at the same time the Governor sends a small group to scout out the prison. Hopefully the dual front battle in the next episode is worth the build up.
Man from Deep River is always mentioned as the start of this subgenre, but it is not a cannibal movie. It's not even a horror movie. It tells the tell of a white guy who gets lost in the jungles of Thailand and is captured by a local tribe. Eventually, he finds love and purpose there.
This film is more of an outgrowth of the mondo film subgenre. It delights in showing us the shocking aspects of tribal life, most of which involve abusing animals. Jesus, I've never seen a work of fiction with so much real animal torture in it. We're forced to watch crocodiles and snakes chopped up alive, a mongoose forced to fight a cobra, a presumably real monkey getting its skull chopped off, cockfights, and a goat getting its throat gruesomely slit. I'm no member of PETA and I've got no problem with hunting, but this nothing I want to see to create a fictional story.
There is one small cannibal scene in the film, which presumably was the seed that inspired the rest of the Italian cannibal film explosion. A small group from the neighboring tribe discover a couple in the woods. They kill the man, then proceed to rape and eat the woman. It's disturbing, but it's really only a small section of a film that is mostly about the protagonist mooning over his native wife. It must have been enough, though, to stick in peoples' minds so that they wanted more.
Watched: DVD from Shriek Show
.The Walking Dead 3.07: "When the Dead Come Knocking" (2012) directed by Daniel Sackheim
Mostly setup for the mid-season finale that's coming next. Merle and the Governor torture, sort of, Glenn and Maggie to get them to reveal where Rick and company are hiding. It's TV show torture and nothing compared to what the comic character would've done in the same situation (how cute and meta that the Governor threatens to cut off Glenn's hand!). I suppose they wouldn't want to alienate the audience, though, what with the highest ratings of any cable show and all.
Later, Rick brings most of the group to the edge of Woodbury on a rescue mission while, at the same time the Governor sends a small group to scout out the prison. Hopefully the dual front battle in the next episode is worth the build up.
06 October 2013
October 6th
The Walking Dead 3.04: "Killer Within" (2012) directed by Guy Ferland
Lori and newborn baby Judith's deaths in the comic series was the second instance -- after Rick's Luke Skywalker moment -- where I felt like I was punched in the gut. This happens at the climax of Woodbury's attack on the prison after a very tense conflict between the two groups spanning weeks.
Obviously, things are quite a bit different in the TV series. I'm not sure why Lori was killed off so early in the series. Typically, you save the main character deaths and baby births for either the finale or the episode before the mid-season break. It may be a comment on the popularity -- or lack thereof, I should say -- of Lori with fans of the show. However, it does set up an interesting dynamic that wasn't present in the comics. Now we get so see the completely unstable Rick -- talking to himself on the phone and such -- go up against the calm and practical Governor. That could be interesting.
Also, having Carl put his own mother down is pretty grim. Not quite as grim as Rick seeing Lori and the newborn killed because he pissed off the wrong warlord, but pretty grim. I'm glad they're not shying away with taking Carl down the same messed up route he's taking in the comics.
The Simpsons 25.02: "Treehouse of Horror XXIV" (2013) directed by Rob Oliver
Attention Fox: I paid money to stream this on Amazon. I didn't have to. I could've easily pirated it. Shove more ads into the front of your streaming shows and that's just what I and many others will do.
Like everyone is saying, the opening sequence directed by Guillermo del Toro is the best part of the episode by a long shot. Hell, it's the best part of any "Treehouse of Horror" for a solid decade and half. The real stories in the episode are the typical weakly amusing fare of the modern Simpsons. The best story -- and most Halloween-y -- was probably the Dr. Seuss rip-off, but even that grated on my nerves after listening to their tortured Seussian rhyming for so long.
Do yourself a favor and watch just the opening, if you haven't, and have fun picking out the infinity of horror references:
The Walking Dead 3.05: "Say the Word" (2012) directed by Greg Nicotero
The reveal of the Governor's zombie daughter was weak. He's shown combing her hair, but even before a chunk of scalp falls out and we see her dead face, we hear her zombie grunting noises. Nice was to waste a surprise. Should've saved this for later, maybe for us to discover at the same time Andrea inevitably does.
I'm sure the show won't be chopping Rick's hand off and I'm sure the interaction between Michonne and the Governor will be toned down compared to the comic series, but, damn, the fate of Lori's body in the TV show was worthy of the comic series. Grief-maddened Rick finds a puddle of blood and gore where Lori had died. Nearby, he stumbles upon a satisfied zombie with a bloated belly resting against a wall. Damn, man. The show had me afraid, when Rick started stabbing the zombie's tummy, that he was going to dig all of the Lori-chow out of it in order to bury her. They didn't go that far out, but, still, this is the best representation of how horrific it is that we are zombie food I've ever seen.
The Walking Dead 3.06: "Hounded" (2012) directed by Daniel Attias
I don't know if it's Laurie Holden's acting -- she always seems to have this dumb half-smile on her face -- or the writing or both, but I can see why fans turned on Andrea this season. I hate to keep referencing the comic series -- they're two different mediums and changes are not only expected, but required -- but Andrea in the comic is such a awesome badass. She's not a cartoon like ninja-Michonne, but a real person hardened by the fall of the world, physically scarred, and deadly with a sniper rifle. After Rick, she's my favorite character in the comics. In the show, the only thing she shares with her comic counterpart is her name. TV Andrea is so wishy-washy, she's hard to watch. I spent the last few episodes wishing Michonne would snap and punch her.
Sweet. Merle captured Glenn and Maggie and brought them to Woodbury. Now we can finally get rocking with the conflict between the two groups. But, c'mon... did Merle teleport like Jason Vorhees seems to? He leaves the Governor and then just happened to wander in exactly the right direction to find Glenn, Maggie, and Michonne at the same time? Lucky guy.
Lori and newborn baby Judith's deaths in the comic series was the second instance -- after Rick's Luke Skywalker moment -- where I felt like I was punched in the gut. This happens at the climax of Woodbury's attack on the prison after a very tense conflict between the two groups spanning weeks.
Obviously, things are quite a bit different in the TV series. I'm not sure why Lori was killed off so early in the series. Typically, you save the main character deaths and baby births for either the finale or the episode before the mid-season break. It may be a comment on the popularity -- or lack thereof, I should say -- of Lori with fans of the show. However, it does set up an interesting dynamic that wasn't present in the comics. Now we get so see the completely unstable Rick -- talking to himself on the phone and such -- go up against the calm and practical Governor. That could be interesting.
Also, having Carl put his own mother down is pretty grim. Not quite as grim as Rick seeing Lori and the newborn killed because he pissed off the wrong warlord, but pretty grim. I'm glad they're not shying away with taking Carl down the same messed up route he's taking in the comics.
The Simpsons 25.02: "Treehouse of Horror XXIV" (2013) directed by Rob Oliver
Attention Fox: I paid money to stream this on Amazon. I didn't have to. I could've easily pirated it. Shove more ads into the front of your streaming shows and that's just what I and many others will do.
Like everyone is saying, the opening sequence directed by Guillermo del Toro is the best part of the episode by a long shot. Hell, it's the best part of any "Treehouse of Horror" for a solid decade and half. The real stories in the episode are the typical weakly amusing fare of the modern Simpsons. The best story -- and most Halloween-y -- was probably the Dr. Seuss rip-off, but even that grated on my nerves after listening to their tortured Seussian rhyming for so long.
Do yourself a favor and watch just the opening, if you haven't, and have fun picking out the infinity of horror references:
The Walking Dead 3.05: "Say the Word" (2012) directed by Greg Nicotero
The reveal of the Governor's zombie daughter was weak. He's shown combing her hair, but even before a chunk of scalp falls out and we see her dead face, we hear her zombie grunting noises. Nice was to waste a surprise. Should've saved this for later, maybe for us to discover at the same time Andrea inevitably does.
I'm sure the show won't be chopping Rick's hand off and I'm sure the interaction between Michonne and the Governor will be toned down compared to the comic series, but, damn, the fate of Lori's body in the TV show was worthy of the comic series. Grief-maddened Rick finds a puddle of blood and gore where Lori had died. Nearby, he stumbles upon a satisfied zombie with a bloated belly resting against a wall. Damn, man. The show had me afraid, when Rick started stabbing the zombie's tummy, that he was going to dig all of the Lori-chow out of it in order to bury her. They didn't go that far out, but, still, this is the best representation of how horrific it is that we are zombie food I've ever seen.
The Walking Dead 3.06: "Hounded" (2012) directed by Daniel Attias
I don't know if it's Laurie Holden's acting -- she always seems to have this dumb half-smile on her face -- or the writing or both, but I can see why fans turned on Andrea this season. I hate to keep referencing the comic series -- they're two different mediums and changes are not only expected, but required -- but Andrea in the comic is such a awesome badass. She's not a cartoon like ninja-Michonne, but a real person hardened by the fall of the world, physically scarred, and deadly with a sniper rifle. After Rick, she's my favorite character in the comics. In the show, the only thing she shares with her comic counterpart is her name. TV Andrea is so wishy-washy, she's hard to watch. I spent the last few episodes wishing Michonne would snap and punch her.
Sweet. Merle captured Glenn and Maggie and brought them to Woodbury. Now we can finally get rocking with the conflict between the two groups. But, c'mon... did Merle teleport like Jason Vorhees seems to? He leaves the Governor and then just happened to wander in exactly the right direction to find Glenn, Maggie, and Michonne at the same time? Lucky guy.
05 October 2013
October 5th
 |
| Monster Cereal Week 3: Boo Berry. Buster Keaton's pork pie hat, Pee-Wee Herman's bow tie, and Peter Lorre's voice. I could never tell if the ghost was supposed to look sleepy, disinterested, or stoned. |
The Worst Witch (1986) directed by Robert Young
I'd have been the right age to watch this when it was first released, but I've never heard of it. Researching for movies to watch with the girls, lots of people spoke fondly of this one, though. I can see why. It's a completly innocent Halloween movie set at a school for witches and full of silly adult characters hamming it up. I especially like Charlotte "Mrs. Garrett" Rae as the scene-chewing evil witch Agatha. Everyone appears to be having a ball in this show.
But the best thing in the movie -- maybe in any movie ever made? -- was Tim Curry's music video. Curry plays the "Grand Wizard" (yes, really, that's what they called him) for the witch boarding school who visits on Halloween. When he arrives, he smoothly segues into a song and dance number about how cool Halloween is, surrounded by cheezy '80s video effects. It. is. awesome. Watch it now:
If you're feeling at all blue today, I guarantee a smile, at least, from the above.
Watched: DVD from BFS
.
Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009) directed by Jen Soska & Sylvia Soska
Thanked in the credits are both Robert Rodriguez and Eli Roth, which is a pretty accurate indicator of the style they went for here. There's Hostel-style torture and dismemberment mixed with Rodriguez-ish hyper-reality and violence mixed with a dark sense of humor. Unfortunately, the story these things are thrown into isn't quite fully developed. It ends up being about a serial killer who stalks hookers, but we don't actually find out anything about this until near there end. There's a twist concerning the killer, but it wasn't exactly a surprise. Mostly, the movie follows four friends driving around with hooker in their trunk, who get into a series of not particularly related wacky and violent adventures. Good effort for a first movie filmed with no budget, but not something I'm going to be watching again. I'm glad to see the Twins went onto greater things after this.
Watched: DVD from MPI
.
.04 October 2013
October 4th
American Horror Story 1.09: "Spooky Little Girl" (2011) directed by John Scott
Hey, the Black Dahlia was killed in Murder House! Meh, I don't care. She seems to be there to illustrate how the fame-seekers who flock to Hollywood are so screwed up, they'd be happy if they are only famous for dying a grisly death. It has no affect on the story of the Harmons at all and, I bet, is probably only here due to interest in the case from the writer. More interesting, the psychic lady suggests that a baby born from a ghost and human will become the Antichrist. Neat, I guess. That gives the show a big, super-evil event to look forward to at the end. There were lots of Omen and Rosemary's Baby references so far, so that makes sense.
American Horror Story 1.10: "Smoldering Children" (2011) directed by Michael Lehmann
I can't say I was too surprised to find out that Violet was already a ghost. Her friend/enemy with the scratched face was abandoned from the show, as we never saw Violet outside of house after Violet's last hangout with her. I'll admit, the appearance of the bloated flies emerging from the cracks in the floorboards, then Tate killing the exterminator after he freaks out over seeing something under the house, then Tate showing Violent her fly-eaten, bloated corpse was an effective horror sequence.
American Horror Story 1.11: "Birth" (2011) directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Events lead to Vivian giving birth inside of the house, with Ben's baby stillborn and Tate's baby perfectly fine. I love the way the birth scene was shot. The frames were selectively blurred, canted angles were everywhere, and reality seemed fluid. As much as I may find the writing weak in the show, the technical side of things has always been very strong.
American Horror Story 1.12: "Afterbirth" (2011) directed by Bradley Buecker
Bizarre. Instead of exploring the problem that is the supposed Antichrist just born in the house, the show decides to end by pretending to be Beetlejuice. Sure, it's a fun sequence when the Harmons pull a Maitland and scare the crap out of the new homeowners. But, it feels like the showrunners had no idea how to end this thing.
The last we see of the Harmons -- now all dead and trapped in the house -- they are a super-happy ghost family celebrating Christmas. Really? Really? They are trapped in a hell with no apparent way of escape. Their children will never grow up. Their stillborn baby will be screaming in the night for centuries, lacking a living brain to grow and change. Violet will be a messed-up teenager for eternity. They're forced to exist with an increasingly large number of other people who die in the house, many of whom are very bad entities. Why is no one bringing this up? Violet touched on some of this in a previous episode very briefly -- worried that her laptop will go out of date and Youtube will no longer work -- but that was it. I would've never have guessed this family and the show would be given such a saccharine ending.
And, at the very end, we find out the 3-year-old Antichrist has killed his babysitter. Woo. I fear for the fate of the world. Sigh, how disappointing this thing turned out to be. At least next season is an entirely new story.
Hey, the Black Dahlia was killed in Murder House! Meh, I don't care. She seems to be there to illustrate how the fame-seekers who flock to Hollywood are so screwed up, they'd be happy if they are only famous for dying a grisly death. It has no affect on the story of the Harmons at all and, I bet, is probably only here due to interest in the case from the writer. More interesting, the psychic lady suggests that a baby born from a ghost and human will become the Antichrist. Neat, I guess. That gives the show a big, super-evil event to look forward to at the end. There were lots of Omen and Rosemary's Baby references so far, so that makes sense.
American Horror Story 1.10: "Smoldering Children" (2011) directed by Michael Lehmann
I can't say I was too surprised to find out that Violet was already a ghost. Her friend/enemy with the scratched face was abandoned from the show, as we never saw Violet outside of house after Violet's last hangout with her. I'll admit, the appearance of the bloated flies emerging from the cracks in the floorboards, then Tate killing the exterminator after he freaks out over seeing something under the house, then Tate showing Violent her fly-eaten, bloated corpse was an effective horror sequence.
American Horror Story 1.11: "Birth" (2011) directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon
Events lead to Vivian giving birth inside of the house, with Ben's baby stillborn and Tate's baby perfectly fine. I love the way the birth scene was shot. The frames were selectively blurred, canted angles were everywhere, and reality seemed fluid. As much as I may find the writing weak in the show, the technical side of things has always been very strong.
American Horror Story 1.12: "Afterbirth" (2011) directed by Bradley Buecker
Bizarre. Instead of exploring the problem that is the supposed Antichrist just born in the house, the show decides to end by pretending to be Beetlejuice. Sure, it's a fun sequence when the Harmons pull a Maitland and scare the crap out of the new homeowners. But, it feels like the showrunners had no idea how to end this thing.
The last we see of the Harmons -- now all dead and trapped in the house -- they are a super-happy ghost family celebrating Christmas. Really? Really? They are trapped in a hell with no apparent way of escape. Their children will never grow up. Their stillborn baby will be screaming in the night for centuries, lacking a living brain to grow and change. Violet will be a messed-up teenager for eternity. They're forced to exist with an increasingly large number of other people who die in the house, many of whom are very bad entities. Why is no one bringing this up? Violet touched on some of this in a previous episode very briefly -- worried that her laptop will go out of date and Youtube will no longer work -- but that was it. I would've never have guessed this family and the show would be given such a saccharine ending.
And, at the very end, we find out the 3-year-old Antichrist has killed his babysitter. Woo. I fear for the fate of the world. Sigh, how disappointing this thing turned out to be. At least next season is an entirely new story.
03 October 2013
October 3rd
The Walking Dead 3.03: "Walk with Me" (2012) directed by Guy Ferland
I like the guy they cast as the Governor. He's kind of a TV version of Liam Neeson, with enough gravitas in his voice to make you believe he could lead such a community. I'm a little disappointed that his big evil-bad-guy reveal at the end was an aquarium full of zombie heads -- as cool as that was -- instead of his zombified daughter as it was in the comics. Hopefully, she shows up later.
Andrea's been surviving the apocalypse for a year. Why was she getting so upset about the Governor's men stabbing corpses in the head and stringing up destroyed zombies from trees? She was travelling for eight months with a woman who kept two jawless zombies as pets. I suppose the writers wanted to show that Andrea was a little skittish about this new place, but they just ended up making her look like an idiot. Lazy.
American Horror Story 1.08: "Rubber Man" (2011) directed by Miguel Arteta
So, the house makes men think with their wieners and women with their wombs... or, at least, more than normal. That seems to be what this series is boiling down to. I'm guessing there's a dully obvious feminist reading of the series -- all of the men in the show so far are assholes -- but we'll see how it turns out.
I did find it amusing to see the ghosts interacting with each other in the house. I can't say that I've ever seen two ghosts having sex before -- with a bonus brutal stabbing at the end -- so chalk that up as a win for this episode as far as I'm concerned.
I like the guy they cast as the Governor. He's kind of a TV version of Liam Neeson, with enough gravitas in his voice to make you believe he could lead such a community. I'm a little disappointed that his big evil-bad-guy reveal at the end was an aquarium full of zombie heads -- as cool as that was -- instead of his zombified daughter as it was in the comics. Hopefully, she shows up later.
Andrea's been surviving the apocalypse for a year. Why was she getting so upset about the Governor's men stabbing corpses in the head and stringing up destroyed zombies from trees? She was travelling for eight months with a woman who kept two jawless zombies as pets. I suppose the writers wanted to show that Andrea was a little skittish about this new place, but they just ended up making her look like an idiot. Lazy.
American Horror Story 1.08: "Rubber Man" (2011) directed by Miguel Arteta
So, the house makes men think with their wieners and women with their wombs... or, at least, more than normal. That seems to be what this series is boiling down to. I'm guessing there's a dully obvious feminist reading of the series -- all of the men in the show so far are assholes -- but we'll see how it turns out.
I did find it amusing to see the ghosts interacting with each other in the house. I can't say that I've ever seen two ghosts having sex before -- with a bonus brutal stabbing at the end -- so chalk that up as a win for this episode as far as I'm concerned.
02 October 2013
October 2nd
The ABCs of Death (2012) directed by Nacho Vigalondo & Adrián García Bogliano & Ernesto Díaz Espinoza & Marcel Sarmiento & Angela Bettis & Noboru Iguchi & Andrew Traucki & Thomas Cappelen Malling & Jorge Michel Grau & Yudai Yamaguchi & Anders Morgenthaler & Timo Tjahjanto & Ti West & Banjong Pisanthanakun & Bruno Forzani & Hélène Cattet & Simon Rumley & Adam Wingard & Srdjan Spasojevic & Jake West & Lee Hardcastle & Ben Wheatley & Kaare Andrews & Jon Schnepp & Xavier Gens & Jason Eisener & Yoshihiro Nishimura
Like every anthology film ever made in the history of the Universe, this is a mixed back. Segments of note:
"D is for Dogfight" It's a dogfight filmed entirely in slow motion, except one of the dogs is a human boxer instead. There's a twist ending to achieve the "death" requirement of the film's title, but that doesn't matter much at all. It's just strangely fascinating to watch a man and dog fight in slow motion.
"F is for Fart" The first in a series of "we're Japanese, aren't we so weird?" shorts. All of the shorts from Japan in this film seem to be hellbent on living up to the country's stereotype of producing fucked-up shit. This one involves a schoolgirl and her teacher enjoying each others' farts more than previously thought possible. Not really fitting for a horror anthology.
"G is for Gravity" A waste of time. It's a first person view of a guy falling off of a surf board and presumably drowning in the ocean.
"H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion" I'll admit, I've never seen a short film specifically made for the furry audience before, so that alone was interesting. It's a live action Tex Avery cartoon. Not really horror, but I liked it.
"L is for Libido" A man is forced into a series of masturbation races. The loser gets a spike through his body. Original and utterly messed up. Of course, I liked it.
"M is for Miscarriage" Offensively lazy. A woman is unable to flush her fetus down the toilet. Presumably, Ti West took the money they gave him to make this, pocketed it, and filmed this thing with his girlfriend, a cellphone, and some leftover steak.
"O is for Orgasm" One of my favorite segments. A pure art piece involving sex, bubbles, and cigarettes. Again, not really horror, but beautiful to watch.
"R is for Removed" Probably my favorite segment. A man chained to a hospital bed has a strip of skin removed from his badly scarred back. Technicians develop it into a piece of 35mm film. It gets stranger from there. The whole segment remind me of a nightmare. Not a Freddy nightmare, though, but close to the type of a nightmare people really have where things don't quite make sense, but they are scary and disturbing, anyway.
"S is for Speed" Cool, in a Sucker Punch sort of way.
"U is for Unearthed" A first person view of a vampire being hunted and killed. I especially liked when the head was cut off and we're forced to experience decapitation from the first person perspective. Unique.
"X is for XXL" I think I've seen this concept before several times, but it was done very well.
"Y is for Youngbuck" It's been a while since I've nearly vomited from watching a horror movie. But, yeah, the old pedophile licking up a pool of sweat on the bleachers left from a junior high school basketball team just about got my dinner to exit my body the wrong way. Also, beautifully shot with a great score.
"Z is for Zetsumetsu (Extinction)" The final "Japan is weird" segment. It was fun, in an over-the-top way. It involved naked salarymen, naked female Nazis with giant penises, and Dr. Strangelove. Yes, I get it, Japan is kooky.
Watched: stream on Netflix.
"D is for Dogfight" It's a dogfight filmed entirely in slow motion, except one of the dogs is a human boxer instead. There's a twist ending to achieve the "death" requirement of the film's title, but that doesn't matter much at all. It's just strangely fascinating to watch a man and dog fight in slow motion.
"F is for Fart" The first in a series of "we're Japanese, aren't we so weird?" shorts. All of the shorts from Japan in this film seem to be hellbent on living up to the country's stereotype of producing fucked-up shit. This one involves a schoolgirl and her teacher enjoying each others' farts more than previously thought possible. Not really fitting for a horror anthology.
"G is for Gravity" A waste of time. It's a first person view of a guy falling off of a surf board and presumably drowning in the ocean.
"H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion" I'll admit, I've never seen a short film specifically made for the furry audience before, so that alone was interesting. It's a live action Tex Avery cartoon. Not really horror, but I liked it.
"L is for Libido" A man is forced into a series of masturbation races. The loser gets a spike through his body. Original and utterly messed up. Of course, I liked it.
"M is for Miscarriage" Offensively lazy. A woman is unable to flush her fetus down the toilet. Presumably, Ti West took the money they gave him to make this, pocketed it, and filmed this thing with his girlfriend, a cellphone, and some leftover steak.
"O is for Orgasm" One of my favorite segments. A pure art piece involving sex, bubbles, and cigarettes. Again, not really horror, but beautiful to watch.
"R is for Removed" Probably my favorite segment. A man chained to a hospital bed has a strip of skin removed from his badly scarred back. Technicians develop it into a piece of 35mm film. It gets stranger from there. The whole segment remind me of a nightmare. Not a Freddy nightmare, though, but close to the type of a nightmare people really have where things don't quite make sense, but they are scary and disturbing, anyway.
"S is for Speed" Cool, in a Sucker Punch sort of way.
"U is for Unearthed" A first person view of a vampire being hunted and killed. I especially liked when the head was cut off and we're forced to experience decapitation from the first person perspective. Unique.
"X is for XXL" I think I've seen this concept before several times, but it was done very well.
"Y is for Youngbuck" It's been a while since I've nearly vomited from watching a horror movie. But, yeah, the old pedophile licking up a pool of sweat on the bleachers left from a junior high school basketball team just about got my dinner to exit my body the wrong way. Also, beautifully shot with a great score.
"Z is for Zetsumetsu (Extinction)" The final "Japan is weird" segment. It was fun, in an over-the-top way. It involved naked salarymen, naked female Nazis with giant penises, and Dr. Strangelove. Yes, I get it, Japan is kooky.
Watched: stream on Netflix.
01 October 2013
October 1st
The Walking Dead 3.02: "Sick" (2012) directed by Bill Gierhart
This episode features multiple very gory shots of Hershel's fresh stump, one of the prisoners hacking up another after he gets bit, and Rick doing the old Savini machete trick with another prisoner's head. If this were an '80s movie, the MPAA would've pitched a fit. I appreciate that the series isn't wimping out at this point and that they are willing to allow their hero-protagonist to do anything to protect his family. Though, I'll be curious to see how the Governor affects the show. He was a little cartoony in the comics. He could be way too cartoony in this show and send the thing completely off the rails. But, two in, this season is good.
American Horror Story 1.07: "Open House" (2011) directed by Tim Hunter
Not really a helluva lot going on in this episode, except for a couple of interesting character reveals. I like that Constance and Moira are at odds over the fate of the house. Moira wants the thing sold so maybe someone will dig up her bones and free her from the house's clutches. Constance wants the thing to remain as is so she can continue to visit her dead kids there. I like that idea. If there were a house that so easily trapped spirits, a mother using it as a means to continue seeing her dead children makes a lot of sense. Constance is as emotionally stuck to the building as Moira is spiritually. Neat. Not sure I buy the Burned Guy's undying crush on Constance, though.
This episode features multiple very gory shots of Hershel's fresh stump, one of the prisoners hacking up another after he gets bit, and Rick doing the old Savini machete trick with another prisoner's head. If this were an '80s movie, the MPAA would've pitched a fit. I appreciate that the series isn't wimping out at this point and that they are willing to allow their hero-protagonist to do anything to protect his family. Though, I'll be curious to see how the Governor affects the show. He was a little cartoony in the comics. He could be way too cartoony in this show and send the thing completely off the rails. But, two in, this season is good.
American Horror Story 1.07: "Open House" (2011) directed by Tim Hunter
Not really a helluva lot going on in this episode, except for a couple of interesting character reveals. I like that Constance and Moira are at odds over the fate of the house. Moira wants the thing sold so maybe someone will dig up her bones and free her from the house's clutches. Constance wants the thing to remain as is so she can continue to visit her dead kids there. I like that idea. If there were a house that so easily trapped spirits, a mother using it as a means to continue seeing her dead children makes a lot of sense. Constance is as emotionally stuck to the building as Moira is spiritually. Neat. Not sure I buy the Burned Guy's undying crush on Constance, though.
30 September 2013
September 30th
Tales from the Darkside 1.16: "The Tear Collector" (1985) directed by John Drimmer
Weird episode. Suspiria's Jessica Harper stars as a woman who is so emotionally sensitive, she cries all of the time for no particular reason. She runs into a man on the streets of New York City who offers to help. Though this stranger invites her to his apartment, he is a gentlemen in all respects. There, he merely collects her tears into a beautiful swan-shaped vial, explaining that such free-flowing tears contain special properties. We never really learn what they do, nor do we learn more about the man's mission. He has a large room full of tear vials both new and old and seems to want to truly help his clients. More, we can't really say. I like the mystery, even if this was not remotely a dark episode.
Dracula (2012) directed by Dario Argento
Seeing Jessica Harper reminded me that I had a new Argento movie I hadn't watched yet. Unlike most folks, I'm an apologist for late era Argento. I actually like Giallo, think Mother of Tears has some good moments (especially if you forget it's related to Suspiria and Inferno), and found The Card Player to be pretty intense. I won't deny the guy's output quality has diminished over the years, but I still think he can create some interesting films.
I may have misjudged the man. Argento's Dracula is a truly horrible film. It's embarrassingly bad. It's every bit as bad as The Phantom of the Opera, Argento's other abysmal film. My mouth was literally, in real life, hanging open during some scenes, completely bewildered at how stupid the movie could get. Here, here is a shot from one of the scenes I could not believe was put into an otherwise serious Dracula movie:
The story is a mess. It lifts some characters and situations from the Stoker novel, but it is only interested in the superficial aspects of the original story. Harker disappears halfway through the story, only to reappear for a few seconds at the end to be staked. He could be cut from the story without affecting anything at all. The same could be said for Renfield, who does nothing important and appears to only be in the film because Dwight Frye made such an impression with the character in the 1930s. Dracula's motivations make no sense. The climax is weak. Nothing works in the story.
Unforgivably, during the last 20 minutes of the film, this film suddenly decides to rip-off Coppola's version as well. Without any build up at all, Mina is revealed to be the reincarnation of Dracula's dead wife. Upon learning this, she instantly falls in love with the vampire. What? She has traveled to town to meet her husband, who has gone missing. The last person to see him is the vampire she's allowing to gnaw on her neck. Why? It's the laziest storytelling I've seen in quite a while.
Even things that used to be consistently great in Argento movies are failures in this film. Claudio Simonetti did the score and, for reasons I cannot fathom, decided the theramin was the perfect instrument to complement a supposedly serious horror film set in the 19th century. Every time he broke out those warbly theramin sounds, I expected to see a rubber-suited monster step out of a flying saucer. It was completely the wrong way to go, unless Argento had originally planned to make a much, much sillier picture (and considering the giant mantis, maybe he did).
The lighting was similarly a mess. Classic Argento was a master of lighting and composition in his films. You can watch Suspiria with the sound off and still be amazed. In Dracula, there are rare and fleeting moments of beauty, like this shot:
But, mostly, everything is framed without any thought and flatly lit with, what I imagine to be, giant spotlights just off screen, like this:
Or this:
The acting is terrible throughout. I was looking forward to seeing Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing. I thought he was a perfect casting choice: he's actually Dutch! Hauer sleepwalks through the roll, seemingly completely drained of all energy. The man doesn't even chew the scenery to give us some camp to latch onto. Not that I blame him, considering the film's script.
Argento's daughter Asia plays Lucy. Forget about the unnecessary nude bathing scene. We all know the two have a weird relationship. I was shocked at how horrible Asia's acting was. She has the ability to do good work, but here... yeesh. Check this out. Awful vampire, or the worst vampire ever committed to the screen?
This film might've been the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I was happy to give Argento the benefit of the doubt for years. Now, I'm seriously worried he has a brain tumor or is suffering from dementia. Dario: please, find a good giallo script, vow to not use any CGI, and give the actors some energy drinks before each scene. You can't let this be your final film.
Watched: blu-ray from Sony
.
Weird episode. Suspiria's Jessica Harper stars as a woman who is so emotionally sensitive, she cries all of the time for no particular reason. She runs into a man on the streets of New York City who offers to help. Though this stranger invites her to his apartment, he is a gentlemen in all respects. There, he merely collects her tears into a beautiful swan-shaped vial, explaining that such free-flowing tears contain special properties. We never really learn what they do, nor do we learn more about the man's mission. He has a large room full of tear vials both new and old and seems to want to truly help his clients. More, we can't really say. I like the mystery, even if this was not remotely a dark episode.
Dracula (2012) directed by Dario Argento
I may have misjudged the man. Argento's Dracula is a truly horrible film. It's embarrassingly bad. It's every bit as bad as The Phantom of the Opera, Argento's other abysmal film. My mouth was literally, in real life, hanging open during some scenes, completely bewildered at how stupid the movie could get. Here, here is a shot from one of the scenes I could not believe was put into an otherwise serious Dracula movie:
 |
| Yes, of course Dracula turns into a giant praying mantis and bites a guy's head off. |
Unforgivably, during the last 20 minutes of the film, this film suddenly decides to rip-off Coppola's version as well. Without any build up at all, Mina is revealed to be the reincarnation of Dracula's dead wife. Upon learning this, she instantly falls in love with the vampire. What? She has traveled to town to meet her husband, who has gone missing. The last person to see him is the vampire she's allowing to gnaw on her neck. Why? It's the laziest storytelling I've seen in quite a while.
Even things that used to be consistently great in Argento movies are failures in this film. Claudio Simonetti did the score and, for reasons I cannot fathom, decided the theramin was the perfect instrument to complement a supposedly serious horror film set in the 19th century. Every time he broke out those warbly theramin sounds, I expected to see a rubber-suited monster step out of a flying saucer. It was completely the wrong way to go, unless Argento had originally planned to make a much, much sillier picture (and considering the giant mantis, maybe he did).
The lighting was similarly a mess. Classic Argento was a master of lighting and composition in his films. You can watch Suspiria with the sound off and still be amazed. In Dracula, there are rare and fleeting moments of beauty, like this shot:
 |
| The only moment of beauty in the film. |
 |
| This scene is supposed to take place at night before the invention of electric lights. |
 |
| A too-bright, colorless, dully composed meeting of the town's bad guys. |
The acting is terrible throughout. I was looking forward to seeing Rutger Hauer as Van Helsing. I thought he was a perfect casting choice: he's actually Dutch! Hauer sleepwalks through the roll, seemingly completely drained of all energy. The man doesn't even chew the scenery to give us some camp to latch onto. Not that I blame him, considering the film's script.
Argento's daughter Asia plays Lucy. Forget about the unnecessary nude bathing scene. We all know the two have a weird relationship. I was shocked at how horrible Asia's acting was. She has the ability to do good work, but here... yeesh. Check this out. Awful vampire, or the worst vampire ever committed to the screen?
This film might've been the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I was happy to give Argento the benefit of the doubt for years. Now, I'm seriously worried he has a brain tumor or is suffering from dementia. Dario: please, find a good giallo script, vow to not use any CGI, and give the actors some energy drinks before each scene. You can't let this be your final film.
Watched: blu-ray from Sony
.29 September 2013
September 29th
The Walking Dead 3.01: "Seed" (2012) directed by Ernest R. Dickerson
I'm still on the Netflix schedule for this show, so I remain a year behind the rest of the world. Works for me. Can't say I care about being spoiled. There's nothing they're ever going to do that will be as remotely shocking as the things that have already gone down in the comic series.
It's a fine start to the season. They finally find the prison and Rick pushes them to dig deeper into the complex before relaxing. There's some stupid character moments -- why venture into the prison before completely exhausting the "rattle the fence, stab the head" trick? -- but I expect those in this show now. Really, it seems like the main reason to continue watching is just for the spectacle of the apocalypse, which, for me, is endlessly fascinating. Also, though I have a feeling the quality will drop way off during the rest of the season, the zombie effects in this episode were superb. Particularly, the limbless/jawless companions to Michone looked awesome.
American Horror Story 1.06: "Piggy Piggy" (2011) directed by Michael Uppendahl
No new prior owner-ghosts visit the house this episode! That alone is a step in the right direction after the drop in quality in the last few eps. I though Taissa Farmiga was excellent in this episode, playing a teen-aged girl who's just found out that ghosts are real, her boyfriend is one of them, and he killed a whole lot of people before dying. She mixes in looks of complete hauntedness, anger, and despair as a reaction to these shocking revelations in an incredibly authentic manner.
What I don't understand: why does Constance think Violet is special? As far as I can tell, everyone in the house can see the ghosts. Violent doesn't appear to be any more sensitive than the security guard who hauled ghost-Hayden away. Are we retconning Violet's importance in the series now?
Tales from the Darkside 1.15: "Answer Me" (1985) directed by Richard Friedman
Finally, after 15 episodes, one that I would actually consider to be from "the darkside." Jean Marsh plays the episode's sole character Joan, who has recently subletted an apartment from a friend. She quickly discovers that the walls are very thin and the neighbor's phone will not stop ringing. There are also occasional bangs on their shared wall, as if something is being slammed against it. Eventually, after a lot of talking to herself (an inevitability in a show with only one character), she musters the courage to go next door and confront the neighbors.
I haven't felt quite this much dread during an older TV show in quite a while. The neighbor's apartment is dimly light and empty. There are dents in the wall from what look like hands. It feels like anything could jump out a Joan. The mood is enhanced when she speaks with a malevolent operator using the offending phone, then further enhanced when she decides to return a second time to the apartment when the ringing continues. There, all of the tension is destroyed in one swift move: the telephone itself attacks in some very badly marionetted moves. Very, very disappointing.
I'm still on the Netflix schedule for this show, so I remain a year behind the rest of the world. Works for me. Can't say I care about being spoiled. There's nothing they're ever going to do that will be as remotely shocking as the things that have already gone down in the comic series.
It's a fine start to the season. They finally find the prison and Rick pushes them to dig deeper into the complex before relaxing. There's some stupid character moments -- why venture into the prison before completely exhausting the "rattle the fence, stab the head" trick? -- but I expect those in this show now. Really, it seems like the main reason to continue watching is just for the spectacle of the apocalypse, which, for me, is endlessly fascinating. Also, though I have a feeling the quality will drop way off during the rest of the season, the zombie effects in this episode were superb. Particularly, the limbless/jawless companions to Michone looked awesome.
American Horror Story 1.06: "Piggy Piggy" (2011) directed by Michael Uppendahl
No new prior owner-ghosts visit the house this episode! That alone is a step in the right direction after the drop in quality in the last few eps. I though Taissa Farmiga was excellent in this episode, playing a teen-aged girl who's just found out that ghosts are real, her boyfriend is one of them, and he killed a whole lot of people before dying. She mixes in looks of complete hauntedness, anger, and despair as a reaction to these shocking revelations in an incredibly authentic manner.
What I don't understand: why does Constance think Violet is special? As far as I can tell, everyone in the house can see the ghosts. Violent doesn't appear to be any more sensitive than the security guard who hauled ghost-Hayden away. Are we retconning Violet's importance in the series now?
Tales from the Darkside 1.15: "Answer Me" (1985) directed by Richard Friedman
Finally, after 15 episodes, one that I would actually consider to be from "the darkside." Jean Marsh plays the episode's sole character Joan, who has recently subletted an apartment from a friend. She quickly discovers that the walls are very thin and the neighbor's phone will not stop ringing. There are also occasional bangs on their shared wall, as if something is being slammed against it. Eventually, after a lot of talking to herself (an inevitability in a show with only one character), she musters the courage to go next door and confront the neighbors.
I haven't felt quite this much dread during an older TV show in quite a while. The neighbor's apartment is dimly light and empty. There are dents in the wall from what look like hands. It feels like anything could jump out a Joan. The mood is enhanced when she speaks with a malevolent operator using the offending phone, then further enhanced when she decides to return a second time to the apartment when the ringing continues. There, all of the tension is destroyed in one swift move: the telephone itself attacks in some very badly marionetted moves. Very, very disappointing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)