October 31st - HALLOWEEN

South Park 16.12: "A Nightmare on Facetime" (2012) directed by Trey Parker
Not nearly as cool as the Halloween episodes of old.  This one pokes fun at the not-quite-antiquated notion of renting a physical movie in the guise of a not-as-good-as-The Simpsons Shining parody.  Though I will never set foot in a Blockbuster again, I do rent plastic discs with movies on them from Netflix instead.  I imagine I'll be doing so for years to come.  Though the two movies they specifically mention in the episode -- The Thing and Halloween 4 -- are indeed available to stream on Netflix and Hulu Plus, streaming selection still isn't remotely good enough to completely replace watching physical discs.  If I wanted to see Alien, The Exorcist, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Near Dark, Evil Dead, Psycho, Frankenstein, The Wicker Man, [REC], Fright Night, Phantasm, Re-Animator, Dawn of the Dead, The Return of the Living Dead, Suspiria, or even The Shining... I'm going to need a disc or I'm going to need to risk pirating.  Maybe the hundreds of different rights holders will get their shit together and all of these will be streaming someday on a single service... I won't hold my breath.


Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) directed by Mel Brooks

A vaguely amusing parody of the Lugosi, Lee and Oldman Dracula movies.  Though, "vaguely amusing" is how I feel about all of Mel Brooks' stuff, I have to admit.  I understand that the jokes on screen are supposed to be funny, but they're rarely enough to get me to erupt in laughter.  Even the superior Young Frankenstein I like mostly because it's such a dead-on homage to its source material and has great actors in it.  This one, it doesn't work as well for either of those things.  I did like Peter MacNicol, who plays Renfield and does a pretty good Dwight Frye impression.  He was fun to watch.  I also liked the bit in which Dracula's hypnotized victims need incredibly specific directions in order not to walk the wrong way as he commands them.  Other than that: meh.

Watched: stream on Netflix.

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare trailer (1991)
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday trailer (1993)
The Simpsons: "Treehouse of Horror VII": "Citizen Kang" (1996)


Tales from the Crypt 5.13: "Till Death Do We Part" (1993) directed by W. Peter Iliff
After taking the girls out trick-r-treating -- costumes covered in coats, the coldest Halloween in a long time -- Jack and Casey and I settled in for a night of movies and pizza and wings and beer and vodka and candy.  First up: the final episode of season 5 of Tales from the Crypt.  It only took us three years to get through these 13 episodes, having watched the first episode back in 2009.  Not bad, eh?  The season ends on a strong note, with the talents of Frank Stallone and John Stamos -- no, really -- delivering a neat spin on the "Owl Creek Bridge" idea.  Onwards to season 6 next year!


Night of the Demons (1988) directed by Kevin Tenney

Instead of Trick 'r Treat this year, we picked this other classic that takes place on Halloween.  Night of the Demons is just a good old '80s horror flick.  A group of teens decide to have a Halloween party in an old, abandoned funeral home.  Which is an awesome idea.  I asked of us, "why are we sitting here, watching movies, when stuff like this is happening?"  "Chlamydia," was Jack's response.

More like demons, which actually do act like an STD in the film, being passed from kid to kid through making out.  The possessions making some of the kids start killing some of the other kids and lots of screaming and running ensue.  It's all good slasher-esque fun.  Also, Linnea Quigley shoves a lipstick through her nipple in one of horror's most bizarre scenes.  And, please, never forgot Stooge's words of wisdom -- and one of my favorite horror movie quotes of all time -- when he advised: "Eat a bowl of fuck!  Let's party!"

Watched: DVD from Anchor Bay.

Prince of Darkness trailer (1987)
Phantasm trailer (1978)
The Green Ruby Pumpkin (2012)


Friday the 13th (1980) directed by Sean S. Cunningham

I haven't watched any of these in quite a long time.  I think Jack and Casey and I are going try to make it through the whole series in the months ahead.  It's strange to think of how it all started.  I forget who said it first, but the original Friday the 13th is pretty much an American giallo movie and not so much of a slasher.  There's nothing supernatural in the film at all.  We get tons of POV shots from the killer's perspective in order to keep the killer's identity a mystery.  When the killer is revealed, it turns out to be a crazy old lady, which is a twist Argento would be fond of.  The only thing missing: Mrs. Vorhees should've been wearing black gloves.

Watched: blu-ray from Paramount.

Halloween (1978) directed by John Carpenter

For my fourteenth Halloween in a row, Halloween.  Through sleepy eyes, I wondered: what made Michael choose Laurie?  Forget the sister idiocy from the sequels/TV version.  Why does he decide to stalk Laurie all day and then ruin her night?  Well, he doesn't just stalk Laurie.  He also follows Tommy to school as well.  What do they have in common?  Laurie and Tommy were the first people Michael saw after arriving back at his old house.  I think -- given what I know about Carpenter -- it was just rotten luck.  Whoever would've walked by first that morning would've caught his interest.  It might've helped that Laurie was a teen-aged girl like the sister he killed and Tommy is close to his age when that happened.  Maybe being back in the house and seeing those two people put him back in the state of mind he was in at 6.  Regardless, it's just rotten luck.  Laurie -- through no fault of her own -- attracted the attention of an evil force who decided to destroy her happiness for no reason at all.  Happens all the time in real life, too.

Watched: blu-ray from Anchor Bay.

It was a good Halloweentime.  I watched 56 horror movies and 44 horror episodes.  I read some old Hellraiser and Nightbreed comics.  Me and the girls had fun playing with tons of glow sticks, which are incredibly cheap these days.  I went to two Halloween parties, one with family and the other with friends.  I watched the trees in my city undergo their beautiful transition.  It was a good Halloweentime.

See again you in 46 weeks!

Sending your kids out begging house to house, dressed as princesses: what a weird world we live in.