28 October 2015

October 28th

The Walking Dead 5.15: "Try" (2015) directed by Michael E. Satrazemis
All of this Alexandria intro stuff happened in the comics like five years ago, so I'm struggling to remember how the story went then. From what I recall, this episode -- at least the bit with Rick fighting Pete over his abusiveness -- seems ripped right out of the pages. I dig that. Though I seriously doubt that Deanna -- the equivalent to the leader of Alexandria in the comics -- is going to shoot out Carl's eyeball, but I could be wrong. That would make for an intense season finale.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003) directed by Ronny Yu
Robert Englund as Freddy
Ken Kirzinger as Jason
13 Aug 2003
Freddy vs. Jason XVIII: Friends Forever
After 17 movies and 23 years, the dynamic duo of slasher films finally meet. Was it worth it? Eh, it's a better swan song for the pair than their respective death movies were, though that's not saying too much.

Springwood has managed to forget Freddy, which is quite a feat considering the state of the place just 4 years ago in which crazy teachers were openly discussing "Freddy 101." Following Nancy's theory from Part 1 that ignoring the dream demon will take his power away, the entire town decides to never mention Freddy's name, censors all newspaper articles about the guy, and locks away any teens having dreams about him in Westin Hills where they are doped up on Part 3's anti-dream med Hypnocil. It works and Freddy loses the ability to do much of anything. To solve this issue, Freddy yanks Jason out of Hell and convinces him to walk over to Springwood to strike up some terror.

That's all well and good, but what about the teenagers who must fight both of these monsters simultaneously? Not so good. This is one of my least favorite casts from all 18 of these things. Monica Keena is horrible in the lead, lacking the inner strength to give her character any gravitas. Singer Kelly Rowland is even worse, demonstrating high school play-levels of performance. As for the rest of the cast, I can barely remember any details about them (one was a nerd and one was stoner, I know that) as they are completely forgettable. Worse, in order to move the plot along, these characters have an uncanny ability to figure out exactly what is going on. For example, apropo of absolutely nothing, Keena's Lori randomly blurts out: "Freddy's afraid of fire. Jason's afraid of water. How can we use that?" Okey-dokey then.

Teen plot-wise, there's an uninteresting B-story in which Monica's "true love" -- at the age of 14, no less -- disappears and breaks her heart. There's an uninteresting C-story in which this true love thinks he saw Lori's dad killing her mother... but it was really Freddy. There's a completely irrelevant D-story in which Kia wants a nose job (huh?). It feels like all of these stuff was thrown into the script as filler, which it may well have been.

Because, that's not really what we're watching this movie for, is it? All we really want to see is Freddy and Jason interacting for the first time and fighting each other. That they do, and it's... OK. The main problem is that these two characters are so completely different that it barely makes any sense to have them battle in the first place. While Freddy is in the dreamworld with Jason, he is all-powerful and unstoppable. When Freddy is yanked into the real world, he's just a skinny guy with four little knives fighting an immortal powerhouse. They do their best to make Freddy a challenge for Jason -- including making him do some silly kung-fu kicking on the big guy -- but ultimately there's nothing that Freddy can do that will ever take Jason down. Either way, the fight is destined to be lop-sided.

Still, it was a kick to see these two characters on screen at the same time. I kind of wish this had become a huge hit, if only to turn this "monster vs. monster" idea into a Hollywood film cycle. I suppose I can settle for awesome superhero shared universe movies instead as a replacement...

Favorite Character
Freeburg (Kyle Labine): The requisite stoner character who decides that the middle of a break-in of a psychiatric hospital is the perfect time to light up a jay. Unphased when speaking to a giant caterpillar.

Favorite Sin
Smoking a doobie in the middle of a break-in of a psychiatric hospital.

Favorite Kill
Shack (Chris Gauthier), who gets a flaming machete thrown through his chest after setting Jason on fire with Everclear.

Freddy's Mood
Desperately trying to get back to that 1980s feeling.

Jason's Mood

1 comment:

  1. I'm a fan and continue to believe that it's the best Freddy vs. Jason movie we could've gotten, especially once you read about some of the ideas that were kicked around.